Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The alternative to just relaxing

The Irish Catholic alternative that is, for the over 70s - religion! Again, why didn't I think of that? Here's a sample of older generations' comments and advice -

"You should get your house blessed. I did that and a year later we had our first child". So if I give in and do this, and we do have a baby, it'll be all down to the ould shake of holy water that Father Pat threw around the gaff, not the year of fertility drugs and the hammer and tongs shagging.

"How about a trip to Lourdes? Lots of women conceive after dunking in the holy water baths there". What? You mean their tubes miraculously unknot or their polycystic ovaries are polycystic no more? The closest I've ever known of a miraculous cure was the one my brothers used to get every Sunday morning in the pub in Knock. Courtesy of St Arthur Guinness.

"I'm praying to Padre Pio/St Joseph/St Anne to get you pregnant". Really, Padre Pio is going to do the job. And I was going to give my husband all the credit. While you're at it throw in a few words to St Jude, he's for hopeless causes, isn't he?

Why is it that some people make me feel like I am just not on good enough terms with the Man Above to warrant a baby? Do they think it's only church goers who earn themselves babies?
What about all the smack heads, murderers and general wrong doers who have kids?

***Pfffzzzzzzztttt*** (Bolt of lightening strikes Jane and she descends straight to hell)


Mick said...

"That's what you get if in your past life you were a heroine-taking child serial killer," he said to the black, smoking circle on the floor.

I must have been Hitler in mine. ;-)

Hi there Jane

Sarah said...

Meh. I myself am not a religious person and my mother constantly insinuates that if I were in fact a "believer" I would be pregnant by now. Maybe I should pray? Or kneel? Or do something religious like?

womb for improvement said...

Reminds me of a girl who I did my first holy communion with (back in the day) I remember hearing her parents had tried for years to have a child and before she came along and they referred to her (to everyone, in her hearing) as 'a gift from God'. I have never met a more spoilt, self-important, nasty little girl. Not quite sure that I have a point ... just felt the need to share.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

I can safely say, kneeling in front of hubby, ain't gonna get anyone pregnant.

I'll leave you with that amusing smutty image instead of starting a rant that I would need a week to finish about Ireland and the church.

DrSpouse said...

I would think your husband would have something to say if you started shacking up with Padre Pio or St Joseph. And as for St Anne, have they never done biology?

Fortunately the ultra-religious types I know are more on the protestant-evangelical end so it's not been suggested I sleep with any saints, but there are still people who seem to think praying harder would help.

Paint it Black said...

Crap, you are telling me that in 2009, with the coming of the new year, all the stupid people in the world havent woken up with their mouths zippered shut?

Well that was a wasted wish I made on a shooting star, I'll have to save it instead for my next birthday wish (cause the 'give me a frecken baby' one never works)

All the prayers and superstisions in the world aint goona get us pregnant. It's in the lap of our uncooperative reproductive bits and doctors that we are on first name basis with.

All people who disagree should just fuck off.


nutsinmay said...

My sister the raving atheist, spent twenties lightly drug-addled and drinking her head off with hippies while blaspheming creatively, gets knocked up with astonishing ease and produces perfect beautiful girlchild.


I'm an atheist too, but I'm a good, pious atheist who still lights candles to St Nicholas for her deceased Catholic grandmother. And I hardly ever blaspheme. In public, at least.

Maketh no sense.

Jane G said...

Mick - I must have been your right hand man/woman!

Sarah - As Xbox said kneeling ain't going to get you pregnant.

WFI - I hope if I ever do become a parent, I won't be become that type of parent.

Xbox - We can always rely on you to take the tone down a notch.

DrSpouse - I think I'd have some objections too, since they're all long dead.

PIB - Amen, sister!

May - Yep, I know a few people like that who got knocked up. Makes no sense whatsoever.