Monday, February 9, 2009

Conversations with the clueless

Some conversations I have been party to in the past year or more.

Over lunch, talking amoung a group of people who don't know anything about my situation. Conversation got around to a couple, who after many years of marriage, had two children in close succession. One woman, who has a young family herself, pipes up "Yes, it's funny that, some people wait years and years to have kids and then they have one after the other!". Yes, it's a funny one alright, not so funny for the couple who are more than like not waiting by choice, but who are trying and trying for years in vain, before finally having their family by the assisted conception route. Not that I threw in this tuppence worth into the conversation.

Talking to a colleague, who I would consider a close enough friend. She knows about all my losses. I was taking the following day off for my first appointment with the fertility clinic we are attending. Told her this. She looks at me like I am a moron, and says very slowly "you do know fertility treatment is for people who can't conceive in the first place, don't you?". Oh shit, I never thought of that, I did no research whatsoever and just picked a random name out of the phone book. Better get on to them and cancel the appointment, because my friend, who has never tried to conceive, never mind had any children, but thinks she knows everything there is to know about fertility, pregnancy and childbirth because her sisters have kids, told me to. Thanks for putting me right on that one.

Same friend, in the later side of her mid thirties, always saying she would love to have children, but in absolutely no hurry to have them all the same. Again may I reiterate that she knows that at this stage we had been trying approx two and a half years, had suffered 4 pregnancy losses and that I was dosing myself to the gills with fertility drugs which were giving me severe depression and mood swings. Says to me one day "If I ever have kids, I hope I'll be able to pop them out like my sister. She's really lucky, not a bit of morning sickness. Flew through all her pregnancies. I hope I'll be like her. It must be horrible to cope with morning sickness". Well love, if you're thinking of starting trying to conceive in your late 30's, morning sickness most likely will be the least of your worries.

Head, meet wall.


Xbox4NappyRash said...

Truly bizarre some of that.

The comment about the fertility treatment is stupid, and blunt, and unnecessary. Not to mention innacurate.

The age thing, it's a funny one. Two years ago I was myself convinced that it would be a simle matter of dropping my pants and before you know it we'd be on our way. People can be incredibly intelligent, but still not get it until the reality comes to their doorstep.

Sarah said...

Ow, my head hurts from banging it on a wall.
Really?? Fertility treatments are JUST for people that cant conceive at all?? Shit.

womb for improvement said...

What my Mum would have called "putting your mouth in gear before engaging your brain."

Anonymous said...

Oh, my good Lord. If ever a woman needed a good hard wallop on the behind...

Mick said...

These people are more to be pitied. The are incapable of thinking before speaking. Or maybe they just lack intellect.
How many times do I have to say it? People. Are. Weird.


Leslie Laine said...

Some people are just idiots.

I hope you can tune out this ridiculous noise because it sucks.

We are all so thankful to your knowledgeable friend for letting us in in the secret of why we have to make appts. with our REs.

Shit. Sorry you had to be subjected to such idiocy.