Clomid - Take 9

Yes that right folks, I started my ninth round of clomid on Saturday night. I don't even know how long you are supposed be prescribed it for, i.e. how many cycles are deemed too many? When we went to see our fertility specialist last November/December, she told us that it could take up to a year for us to conceive again and we would just have to be patient. My patience is already wearing thin.

The really head meltingly frustrating thing about where we are right now is that before I ever went near clomid, hcg shots, naltrexone, mucodyne, pyrodoxine, fertility plus or any of the other plethera of supplements I am taking daily, I got pregnant relatively easily.

We started ttc in April 06, started using OPKs in Sept '06, started charting BBT in Oct '06 and bingo! We hit target that month. So first our attempt took us six months.

I miscarried at the end of November, we were advised to let one cycle go by before trying again, so we started again in January '07. This time it took two months. We definately had the knack at this stage.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the knacked of holding onto these little guys, and that pregnancy turned out to be a chemical one, or a very early miscarraige, whichever you want to label it. We decided not to waste any more time and went for it again the following month. Got pregnant on the first try. We lost this little bean at nine and a half weeks.

The next time we tried was October '07, and again we acheived our mission on the first attempt. This makes us sound like disgustingly fertile people, but my definition of fertility is one that includes a viable pregnancy and live birth. So when we lost this pregnancy at five and a half weeks, we knew that it was time to seek the help of a fertility specialist.

I do think when we first visited the clinic she did talk up our chances of success. She told us that they have an 80% success rate with recurrent miscarriage patients. She explained the process, finding the problem, treating the problem and counting effective cycles, and the anticipated timelines of each phase. She said since we didn't have an issue getting pregnant in the past, that we probably wouldn't have much of a problem in that department in the future. We just had to get the treatment right. We anticipated that this wouldn't take that many months to sort out. It ended up taking a year. A very long agonising year. A year in which our friends and family moved on with their lives. John's youngest brother and his wife had their first baby in that time. A couple who hadn't gotten together when we started ttc had their first baby and conceived their second. We were still stuck in reverse when everyone else was cruising along in top gear.

And here we still are. Stuck in the slow lane, plodding along. The next step might be to get John's side of things checked out. We are due back to the clinic on April 28th so we will see how we go from there. Last August I said I would give this another year and a half, then it's time to move on.

Pass me the crazy pills and hide the kitchen knives. Honey, I'm home!