Still here

First of all, a thank you to Xbox for the shout out last week. Now that he has proclaimed this blog to be humerous, I feel like I'm all under pressure to give my readers some laughs. Well I'm not promising anything, ok? I'm a crabby ould wagon pushing forty, so don't expect too much.

Well I'm back in the land of the living after my little "procedure" last Friday. It wasn't really all that bad in the end. Probably the worst part of it was the prep the day before. I was told that because the surgery might involve a bit of shufftying around the bowel (lovely!) looking for endometriosis, I had to make sure said bowel was empty. So cue the consumption of 4 litres of Klean Prep. To make it marginally more palatable, I added some blackcurrant cordial (Miwadi, for the benefit of my fellow Irish readers). Suffice to say, I never want to taste blackcurrant Miwadi again for a very long time.

About an hour after I started on this, a friend of mine called over. She had been away travelling for the last month, so it was a catch up visit. Luckily, she is a nurse, and is fully au fait with the effects of strong laxatives, so she didn't bat an eyelid when every three to five minutes I jumped up out of my chair to pop to the loo. Hey, what are friends for but to listen to your volcanic bathroom eruptions. Anyone else I would have been morto, but as I said, she's a nurse, and has seen it all many times before.

Anyway, Friday dawned, I was fasting from midnight the previous night, and we headed off for the hospital bright and early. I stocked up on trashy mags along the way (my big guilty pleasure) and we got there at 8.40, which was great as we weren't due to check in until 9, so we beat the rush for once. I got checked in, blood pressure taken, a million and one questions about allergies and false teeth (I have a bridge which I had to repeatedly point out to people). Then I got taken into the day ward, put on my gown, disposable granny knickers and settled in. I was taken up to theatre around 10am. Then they left me waiting outside in my little day bed for around 15 or 20 minutes, and they handed me another stash of trashy mags to flick through while I was waiting. This seemed just a little surreal, it's not like I was waiting for my usual cut n' colour after all. Well cut maybe, but definitely not colour.

Anyway, I was taken in to theatre, put in a drip, all the usual. As I have had 2 D&C's and a colonoscopy in the past two years, I'm a bit of a veteran of operating theatres, so even though lying on the operating table still gives me a bit of the heebee geebees, overall I was fairly calm. I woke up in the recovery area with a sore throat, feeling sore in the abdomen and a little woozy. Then I began to feel really cold, so the nurse tucked me up with a heated foil blanket, and I was snug as a bug in no time. Then she got an old saline bottle, filled it with hot water, wrapped it in tissue paper, and tucked it into the bed with me as a hot water bottle. I was really impressed with this. Anyway, I was wheeled back down to the day ward, and told I had to sleep for three hours, otherwise I would be very weak when it came to going home time.

So they ran John and all other visitors, dimmed the lights, closed the door and turned off the tv, so we could all sleep. I was drifting in and out of really strange dreams all afternoon. In one I was painting the outside of our house bright fuschia pink. I put that one down to the morphine. Man......the colours........

It was after 6pm by the time the gynecologist came down to tell us what he had found. We were told that I had mild endometriosis either side of my cervix, which is no more, since the good doctor lasered it off. Also, my left ovary had been stuck to my abdominal wall, so he unstuck it. I know he said something about ligaments, but I was still fairly groggy, so I can't really remember what it was exactly. So I was left with three stitches, one in my belly button, one directly below that, just above the herbaceous borders, and one to the left (presumably to get at that sticky left ovary).

So since then I have been milking my week long sick note for what it's worth. I've been living in my PJs and John has been waiting on me hand and foot. He went to the video shop and got me the first two season box sets of Desper@ate Housewives on DVD which I have been watching back to back all week. Again, total trash, but entertaining trash at the same time. So that's the update for now. I'm now counting the days until I have my next round of hcg injections, and then it's back to the blood tests. I'm going to try and get a bit calmer about the whole situation, go back to yoga classes, do acupuncture, and just try and get myself out of this miserable rut that I've been in for the past couple of months. Being away from work for a while has been good, but I know I will have to get out there and face the fertile pregnant world again soon.