Monday, May 18, 2009

Nollaig

This day two years ago, we found out that I had suffered my second miscarriage in six months. I was just over nine weeks along, the furthest I have gotten with any pregnancy. I'm not going to post all the details again, as I have told the story before.

As with my first pregnancy, I had a strong gut feeling as to the sex of this baby. I tend to have witch like tendancies when it comes to babies, in that at one stage, whenever I dreamed of a pregnancy in my family, it was pretty much always followed by a real life pregnancy announcement. During this pregnancy, I repeatedly dreamed about baby girls, so I was convinced that I was carrying a girl. I even tried the old wives tale test of hanging my wedding ring on a piece of thread and dangling it over my belly, just for the laugh. I swore it was going around in circles on its own (circles are supposed to be for a girl, back and over for a boy) although John was pretty sure that it was my hand rotating in circles, not the wedding ring :)

She would have been due on December 21st 2007, so I was pretty much resigned to spending Christmas in the maternity hospital. Sadly, we lost her seven months before that. As with my previous pregnancy, I decided to have her recorded at the Shrine of the Holy Innocents. When it came to naming her, we picked the name Nollaig, which is the Irish word for Christmas, and is the Irish translation of the name Noelle or Noel.

In our lives for a short time, but in our hearts forever. Our little Nollaig.

12 comments:

hairyfarmerfamily said...

What a beautiful name. Assume I have neglected my Irish studies lately, and tell me how it's pronounced?

Hugs to you.

womb for improvement said...

Thinking of you today.

Jane G said...

HFF - neglecting your Irish studies? Tut tut! It's pronounced Nullig. Thanks for the hugs.

WFI - Thanks hon.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Jesus. Sometimes it's just too much.

I'm just terribly sorry.

bb and mtb said...

Nollaig is such a beautiful name. Thihnking of you today.

Kim said...

I am so sorry your heart has this to hold. Thinking you the two of you ans your sweet girl today. Hugs.

nutsinmay said...

When I said goodbye to Pikaia on her due date (see, I was SURE she was a girl too), and made a flotilla of paper boats to set on the river, I was thinking of you, among others, when I made them. I hope that was OK.

Nollaig is a beautiful name.

Many many hugs.

areyoukiddingme said...

What a beautiful name. I'm so sorry for your loss.

DrSpouse said...

I'm really sorry to hear this, it sounds like we were doing the same thing at the same time actually; my anniversary is in a couple of weeks.

Cara said...

Remembering with you as you think back. So sorry Nollaig can't be with you in form.

((hugs))

Aunt Becky said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. What a beautiful name.

diaryofamiracle said...

Hi, I just came across your blog and was struck by the similarities – both 40, both living in the mid west, me trying to escape a job in Dublin for the country life, and sadly both dealing with fertility challenges. I had my second miscarriage – again at 9 weeks – over the June bank holiday weekend. This was our miracle baby as I was told the chances of getting pregnant following treatment for breast cancer four and half years ago was slim. All pretty sad stuff, but I have to say that I have found great comfort and support online. This post really moved me. I am adding a link to your blog to my own.
http://diaryofamiracle.wordpress.com/